Yesterday my husband and I celebrated four years of marriage. As I think back to life before my husband, lots of memories come flooding back. Specifically the years before we met. When I turned 20, I had an encounter with God, and truly understood what it meant to really follow Jesus (and not just ‘believe’ in Him) for the first time in my life. In the years following, I sought out what it meant to be a godly woman. My heart longed to be a wife and mother, and to serve my family from home. I prayed that if it wasn’t God’s will, He would remove that desire in my heart.
God fulfilled that longing in my heart with a man far beyond my deepest desires and dreams. Throughout our courtship and engagement, I studied God’s word to discover what God says about a woman’s role in marriage. I spent my days preparing and praying that I would be an encouraging wife, a praying wife, a selfless wife, a submissive wife, and a loving wife.
I remember anticipating becoming a wife, and sharing with others how excited I was to cook for my husband every day, pack my husband’s lunches, take care of our home through cleaning and doing the laundry, and I was just giddy about spending forever together. I was quickly informed by many, that I would start out that way, but quickly lose motivation for things like packing my husband’s lunch etc. Some women thought it was ridiculous that I would even desire to do those things. “He can pack his own lunch!” was a phrase I heard from so many women, many of which were Christians. They thought my ideas were old fashioned.
Well… maybe they are:
“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” -Titus 2:3-5
“She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family.” -Proverbs 31:15
Four years later, and I still enjoy doing those things for my husband. I take great joy in being the one to keep house for my family. Don’t get me wrong, my husband helps out a ton at home! He regularly takes care of yard work, and is constantly jumping in to do dishes or vacuum or clean. In fact, when we first had our baby girl, he was so incredible with making sure laundry and things at home were kept up with.
My husband works so hard to provide for our family and protect and lead our family, as Scripture teaches him. I delight in working hard in the home so that he has a hot meal to come home to, and a peaceful environment. I want him to feel that our home is a place where he can be encouraged and feel the Lord’s Presence. I love being able to pack his lunch or wash the clothes he works hard in. I’m a blessed wife and so thankful for a man who loves the Lord!
I’m not saying any of this to boast, but instead to show that when you seek the Lord about your role as a woman, you can find great joy in the daily tasks of being a keeper at home. In fact, I realized on my fourth anniversary, that I haven’t really dug deep into studying my role as a wife in a while. I know it’s something I should never stop praying about and reflecting on. I want to grow as a child of God, and I want to grow as a wife and mother. I thought I’d dig in to some Scripture and share it with all of you. I should continue to pray and study that topic just as much as when I prepared for marriage four years ago!
When I’m striving to fulfill my role God gave me as a woman, everything in my marriage and life flow so much better. And when I try to resist the role I was designed for, I face nothing but trouble and end up feeling miserable. God’s plan for man to lead their spouses and families, and His plan for women to be gentle in spirit and submissive, is such a beautiful representation of Christ and His love for us. In a world that is getting further and further from what male and female roles are supposed to look like, I encourage each of you to study what God’s Word says about your role as a man or woman!
Here is some Scripture on what God says a woman’s role is as a wife:
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” -Ephesians 5:22-24
“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”” -Genesis 2:18
“I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.” -1 Timothy 2:9-15
“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external–braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.” -1 Peter 3:1-6
“A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” -Proverbs 31:19-31