Thankful for colic? How terrible does that sound? What mommy could possibly be thankful for a baby who cries all the time and most likely has some discomfort causing the insane amount of crying? Well, I’m not exactly “thankful” for the fact that my baby girl cried and screamed hours upon end (6pm-2am just about every night for a while). In fact, so far it’s been the toughest parenting challenge I’ve had. It hurt me deeply to not be able to figure out how to fully calm and comfort my baby.
In the midst of that season, you could have told me, “God is teaching you something through this,” and I would have wondered what good lesson could possibly come from colic. But God is faithful in teaching us something from every situation in life. I didn’t understand at the time why God allowed my little one to suffer from colic, but I’m beginning to understand what He was trying to teach me through it all.
My personality has always been that I need to have control over situations and be able to fix things and do things on my own. In dealing with colic, I learned that I had to completely trust in God and wait on Him for it to pass. I researched colic to death and tried every natural remedy I could find. I don’t regret doing so, because I found ways to bring comfort and relief to my little one. (I wrote a separate article on colic and reflux that I’ll post in the near future). For a while I refused to call it colic, because I personally feel that term is often thrown out every time a baby is extra fussy. I didn’t like when anyone else said I had a fussy or colicky baby because it felt they were implying she was a “bad baby.” There are no bad baby’s. All are just as sweet and precious, fussy or not! I do think we have to research and fight for our little ones who can’t speak for themselves and say what’s really going on. But I cried many tears along with my girl thinking, “Why can’t I just fix this and make her feel peaceful?!” There’s nothing more frustrating and hurtful for a mommy than to watch her little one be hurting or unhappy and not be able to make things better. Through many tears, I learned that after I’ve done all I can do as a mommy, my baby’s well being ultimately rests in the hands of her Creator. He loves her even more than her father and I, and He is in control of every situation, not me.
Another aspect of my personality is to go, go, go. When I’m at home, I’m baking, cooking, doing laundry, cleaning, scrubbing, tidying, and making homemade household products from morning to evening. I absolutely love being a homemaker and taking care of my family. Having a baby with colic who needed to be held almost nonstop the first 3 months changed all of that. I knew my first six weeks would probably be an adjustment and I pictured myself getting back into the swing of things by then. But I was wrong. And that reality was tough for me. I wanted to keep our house clean and tidy and have dinner on the table every evening as soon as I felt up to it.
We had over thirty days of freezer meals prepared, and we were so blessed to receive even more from friends and family. I’m so thankful I had so many meals stored away, because my baby girl did not like being put down for more than five minutes. I resorted to wearing her in a wrap to get things done, but suffered severe back pain and could only wear her for so long each day. Through colic, I learned that I couldn’t have total control over our household and that it was OK to receive help. I realized more than ever how blessed I am with a selfless and serving husband who constantly helped around the house despite the long hours he works. And I realized that God wanted me to see what things in life are most important. Holding and comforting my sweet baby is so much more important than anything. If I had a more laid back baby, I might have put her down all the time to focus on the house and I would have missed out on those precious and wonderful moments of holding and rocking and singing to my baby.
Now that those long sessions of tears are in the past, I’ve got one of the happiest little baby’s, who is full of smiles and giggles. I’m so grateful that colic is a thing of the past in this house. I don’t regret picking her up every time she cried (or every time she still cries) or deciding to hold her for most of her naps because she just slept better that way. And I’ve fallen in love with baby wearing her all throughout each day still.
I’ve gotten back into the swing of things with keeping our house in shape and getting meals prepared. I still love being in the kitchen, but I’ve learned to keep a lot of meals simple and quick, while still being healthy and homemade. Someday I’ll have more time in the kitchen again, but I will never get these wonderful days back. I’m not glad about my baby having gone through colic, but I’m so thankful for what the Lord taught me from it. I’m so thankful for every snuggly moment and only wish I could slow down time from passing all too quickly with my baby girl.